Ailie in Wonderland 3

Suddenly I think of this song… and Martin Gore. And the forever days of being young.

A Question Of Lust
(Gore)

Fragile
Like a baby in your arms
Be gentle with me
I’d never willingly
Do you harm

Apologies
Are all you seem to get from me
But just like a child
You make me smile
When you care for me
And you know

It’s a question of lust
It’s a question of trust
It’s a question of not letting
What we’ve built up
Crumble to dust
It is all of these things and more
That keep us together

Independence
Is still important for us though (we realise)
It’s easy to make
The stupid mistake
Of letting go (do you know what I mean)

My weaknesses
You know each and every one (it frightens me)
But I need to drink
More than you seem to think
Before I’m anyone’s
And you know

It’s a question of lust
It’s a question of trust
It’s a question of not letting
What we’ve built up
Crumble to dust
It is all of these things and more
That keep us together

Kiss me goodbye
When I’m on my own
But you know that I’d
Rather be home

It’s a question of lust

(source: Wiki)

And there is a live acoustic version (or the “no longer innocent” version, IMHO), too…

A quick update:

- VERY busy at work, although I can leave office before 19:30 (most of the time because the secretary needs to leave and lock the door).

- Need to have some trips to hospital, to accompany my mom for chemo or other matters.

- Talked a lot with different friends, as I really need to find someone to listen, and to listen to someone.

- Sleep better than last summer.

- Still manage not to switch on A/C at home.

- Go kayaking when time allows; the sea is my hiding place.

-  The display of Golden Retriever, my IBM X10 (eh, yes, some old-gen stuff…) finally refused to blink at me.  So gotta look for a new PC.

It takes no time to fall in love. But it take
you years to know what love is …

4 June, Victoria Park, Hong Kong

Some people died

Some people live on

Some people strive for their lives

Some people let money and power make them blind

Some say things should be justified

Some say the incident should not be glorified

Unsolved questions left unsolved

Bloody scenes remain unforgotten

So year by year, people

Sigh, shake their heads, weeped, debated, in silence, in whatever way

Telling themselves

Lest me forget

We all once hoped that you would have come back soon.

But finally you chose your own way.

Hard to accept this, but we all wish you RIP.

And we all miss your cakes, pies, smile, and the bloody jokes.

This time: Sanya.  On Hainan island.  Kinda Gran Canaria of China.

My site is in the area with those fancy resorts — Sheraton, Marriot, Pullman, and prestigous Golf Club.  And there are all those Chinese and foreign holiday makers in my site.

And I come here with two young reporters.  Yes, I’m babysitting them.  And thank god, they are pretty easy-going.

Sure the true challenge (for me) will start from tomorrow, with all those events and logistics.

I can just wish myself good luck.

Hat Mau (sic), in fact it should be Haak Maau — black cat in Cantonese … she has been residing in JS’ place for a few weeks while the owner having holiday out-of-town.  At first she just hid herself in the storeroom, and after a while she started straying around JS’ place.  And the recent hobby of HM is playing hide-and-seek with her babysitter, or getting into any bag she finds comfortable.

And I like talking with her by making anykind of *miao* sound.

“Hey, you are smiling… but why?”

“Eh.  Well, it’s a sunny day… the sky is blue… and there is a sweet guy sitting next to me.”

“Oh, thank you.”

Just think that we should try our best to have a laugh at every misfortune in life — not necessarily all the time, but as much we could.

On the balcony of Beitou Public Library of Taipei (the most beautiful library in Taiwan!), Photo by my friend Jane.

This Friday is the first time being on trip alone to TPE.

Sure at the beginning of April, when my boss had her block leave, and another colleague was on line for a few days, the feeling is more or less the same — like about to have a bungyjump.

(Oh, didn’t I mention that I am an acrophobe?)

I told a friend that I’m the typical executor, not a leader, and therefore I was so scared that I’d have screwed things up when executing things alone. “BS,” said the friend.

I don’t think it’s a BS.

What do I mean by “screwing things up”?  Well, like with my absent-mind-ness.  Like with my carelessness.

Last month when I had to provide on-site support alone in another city, that kind of stress almost killed me — sure I survived finally, but I hate the sweat and stomach ache and the anxiety during that 4 hours.

Suddenly I remember an article about stage fright.  It said that even Merrill Streep got it.  The keypoint is how to turn it into a form of energy to fuel up the performance.

Maybe it’s a long lesson to learn.

Finger crossed.